tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80767711481131741022024-02-19T17:01:57.524-08:00always within neverunahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-52858473369583005992016-01-02T08:21:00.003-08:002016-01-02T08:21:42.860-08:00a journey mindset<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7mCC_CObb_APsrSqWp38vnE7M0KYSEZt4GcObJreJeHZ4KX8tlHgoP9cXwv_aR6HbcNe-Hdv6oPkc20yVTczE62kDPLxY7njtH9hpxqnahrrZAEyi9QxVFuhAOh6CmywjwoZc3UN7wc/s1600/berry+in+vase.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7mCC_CObb_APsrSqWp38vnE7M0KYSEZt4GcObJreJeHZ4KX8tlHgoP9cXwv_aR6HbcNe-Hdv6oPkc20yVTczE62kDPLxY7njtH9hpxqnahrrZAEyi9QxVFuhAOh6CmywjwoZc3UN7wc/s200/berry+in+vase.jpg" width="91" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">This is a blog, yes, and in that sense meant to be shared. But really it
is a journal of a journey to a goal—a way to stay grounded and on track when man,
fear could easily beat me. Through it I hold myself responsible, and appreciate
the terrors as well as the brightnesses of the journey. And notice the very
loud voices—Resistance, doubt, insecurity—so omnipresent that I often mistake
them for truth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">A few weeks ago I mapped the project, laid out the distance from here to
there. An exhibition at one of my favorite galleries in Salt Lake, a space I
respect and have applied to multiple times without success. What was clear to
me as I looked at the coming dozen weeks was that I had serious doubts about my
abilities here. Doubts about whether I am of the right caliber to be showing in
this space. It’s one thing if I apply and get rejected—yeah, of course: that
fulfills my assumptions, that fits my story. But then they said, OK, great!
Give us whatcha got! And then I’m like OH SHIT. What now?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">What now is this blog. It is showing up daily. It is delving into a
journey mindset.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimSb5GFdB9UgyoyJH0AYMmNm0tw8t4f4PZYdWg6lLkKGzza0JTLulSUjpwGshu1mLQ-tc1eGMaXMEz80NSA1w9FCaRIa4_n4TyusqH5GSx_8LZm5MEvJHKumyfhzith8hrIv93XBEmU5E/s1600/baldessari1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimSb5GFdB9UgyoyJH0AYMmNm0tw8t4f4PZYdWg6lLkKGzza0JTLulSUjpwGshu1mLQ-tc1eGMaXMEz80NSA1w9FCaRIa4_n4TyusqH5GSx_8LZm5MEvJHKumyfhzith8hrIv93XBEmU5E/s320/baldessari1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; text-align: start;"><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: xx-small;">John Baldessari, <i>Rollercoaster</i>, 1989-90. Photogravure with color aquatint.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Fortunately, simple curiosity leads to unexpected discoveries, and out of nowhere arrived John Baldessari, whom I was familiar with but hadn’t looked at closely. I saw pieces from the Overlap Series, where lines extend out of the usual length-by-width borders and images are strung together unexpectedly. And then I thought—oh! That’s like me! Maybe the work could be fluid and unpolished, like I am—or it could explore limits and boundaries and assumptions about what’s possible, like I am. And so once again I was on my way.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKr_USaqPG6EiKoz28EHqWBGjh-Iy-tuJCxmWAGUX96djO7VOfl2eW81B6LvFfj6gmQJBgsj1y6-qoSo0u7tWBs38S5jO8OM8M9l_z0RrketoJxRcHiGsDbzNiy6O5Av5hGuQgbduX1ek/s1600/baldessari_third+street.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKr_USaqPG6EiKoz28EHqWBGjh-Iy-tuJCxmWAGUX96djO7VOfl2eW81B6LvFfj6gmQJBgsj1y6-qoSo0u7tWBs38S5jO8OM8M9l_z0RrketoJxRcHiGsDbzNiy6O5Av5hGuQgbduX1ek/s200/baldessari_third+street.jpg" width="199" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 15px; text-align: start;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">John Baldessari, <i>2623 Third Street, Santa Monica</i>, 2000. Suite of 4 color lithographs with screenprint.</span><span style="color: #4f6228;"> </span></span></span><i style="font-family: Tahoma; text-align: start;"> </i></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">A blog releases, just a tiny but an important bit, the intense need to please, and
shines light on the fears. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">So we’re back. Most times there will be a poem to help us
along, but right now there’s work to do. Business for the coming week: show up,
and </span><i style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">act</i><span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">; not hover tentatively but
pick up a piece and say, fuck it, you and I are going on a journey and we might
well end up with a handful of failure, which freaks me out a little because I’m
so aware that a deadline looms. But we’re not looking for perfection. We’re
looking for reality, and maybe mistakes are not liabilities but guides,
illuminating the path. And that’s enough for now.</span></div>
unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-38294790398855622822015-05-01T06:38:00.003-07:002015-05-01T06:38:47.035-07:00returning<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i><i><span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRolI-gDdYLNMv9_BB_81964Jt4HKYbp4ksOSmYw178FnaNH7btviMn9_6u3aOmd7r-F1_082OABmLNZ5T4WWW_cOQjbOGoRLY-v3_E7tXVDaKvilkHs0WM9NTlq_C7Wx5OPvHFy5P5lg/s1600/Suzanne+Caporael1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRolI-gDdYLNMv9_BB_81964Jt4HKYbp4ksOSmYw178FnaNH7btviMn9_6u3aOmd7r-F1_082OABmLNZ5T4WWW_cOQjbOGoRLY-v3_E7tXVDaKvilkHs0WM9NTlq_C7Wx5OPvHFy5P5lg/s1600/Suzanne+Caporael1.jpg" height="320" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Suzanne Caporael, 014
(LIKE THE WISDOM OF SMITH, 1), 2012-13, NYT newsprint collage</span></span></i><i><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 191;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">The urge to retreat is so strong, and sometimes it’s necessary, and called
for — but now, digging into another creative project, I need a space for
marking time, processing the challenge, keeping perspective. So I turn back to
the blog, this universe of my own creation, in part to show The Voice and Resistance,
in all their deceptive guises, the exit. On a regular basis.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">So much rejection. And humiliation, lately. Compounded by a worn-out habit of knocking the wind out of my own self. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">Ironically, in this creative process, it seems essential to not care and
care at the same time. To inhabit a slim space between pure exploration with no
concern for the outcome and awareness that there is a finish line, there is
meant to be an end product, at least some of this is intended to be shared. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">Now, with an exhibition approaching, I have a seat in the arena, and I’m
determined to occupy it, to not pass up this opportunity and heed the chorus of
Voices — cultivated over a rich and fertile past of shame, inadequacy, fear,
and overall who-do-you-think-you-are-ness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">A poem, a poem, seems always right at these moments. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">ON NEW TERMS<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">own face, not tremble in the dark before<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">an intruder who never arrives. Not <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">apologize. Not scurry, not pace. Not<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">refuse to keep notes of what meant the most.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">Not skirt my father’s ghost. Not abandon<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">piano, or a book before the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">Not count, count, count and wait, poised—the control,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">the agony controlled—for the loss of<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">the one, having borne, I can’t be, won’t breathe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">without: the foregone conclusion, the pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">not yet met, the preemptive mourning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">without which <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">nothing left of me but
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<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">—Deborah Garrison</span><span style="color: #595959; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Daily
cultivation of free-form curiosity and wonder and</span><span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;"> help, making space for new
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">The other day for example, Suzanne Caporael’s collages crossed my field of
vision. How did I not know about these until now? Where has she been hiding all
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';">Suzanne Caporael, 023 (LIKE WEDNESDAY), 2012-13, NYT newsprint collage</span></i><i><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I also discovered while flipping through the NYT, eyes on alert for images
that spark, Frei Otto, the architect; William King, the sculptor; Mavis Gallant, such gorgeous short stories — all of
whom passed recently, one 89, one 90, one 91. Prolific, engaged, and in the second case
at least, funny. Aha! There’s that fire.</span></div>
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revising sober and clear-eyed, hunting for the best form and the clearest path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-89733164133647264422014-01-25T07:21:00.004-08:002014-01-25T07:24:14.170-08:00turning the page: the adventure continues<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Got the green light .
Got the green light to continue.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">The show is up, the dust is settling, my breath is slowing and relaxing a
little. I’m reminded of that poem by Ryõkan:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">The rain has stopped, the
clouds have drifted away,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">and the weather is clear
again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">If your heart is pure, then
all things in your world are pure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">Abandon this fleeting
world, abandon yourself,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #595959; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: text1; mso-themetint: 166;">Then the moon and flowers
will guide you along the Way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">Often, when one chapter’s closed and I don’t know What’s Next, I love to
look around and notice what jumps, what naturally, effortlessly, sparks curiosity. Especially after dealing with the logistics
of framing and promoting and recording — maybe a week’s gone by without much
creative work, maybe two — it gets hard again, to enter the studio, the mystery
of it. I feel a little out of
practice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">So for well over a decade I’ve kept an Adventure Book. It’s a place to chronicle my wackiest
creative ideas, annoying tasks, routine actions, moneymaking schemes. A notion strikes — no matter how mundane, no matter
how majestic — and in it goes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">I took this suggestion from Carol Lloyd in her book <i>Creating a Life Worth Living</i>, and I carry it most always. There’s a beauty in writing all these ideas down: I’m not committing to them. I’ve more than enough ideas in the books to
last me two years. As she puts it, the
Adventure Book “engenders proactive dreaming rather than passive peeving.” It’s a record of my creative spurts and
slumps, and serves as a catalyst … I can browse past ideas and discover which ideas
still hold meaning years later, which I fulfilled easily, which fizzled maybe. Artists to explore, music to revisit, pie-in-the-sky
dreams, wines, gift ideas, questions. I
can see how I directed my energies, and have this enormous well of ideas I can
draw on for inspiration, amusement, and action.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;">So as I return to work, I browse their pages with wonder. Noticing what continues to beckon. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">This is also a moment for gratitude, to the Frenchman, to <a href="http://lindatraceybrandon.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Linda</a>, to the <a href="http://www.turkeylandcovefoundation.com/" target="_blank">TurkeyLand Cove Foundation</a>, to le petit garçon, to <a href="http://flavors.me/alexandraharbold" target="_blank">Andra</a> and other partners in crime,
to friends and family who’ve been guides and angels along the way. Gosh what luck, what good fortune, what
gifts. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
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</div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">And so back to work, with wonder. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Faith Ringgold: <i>American People Series #2: Woman Looking in a
Mirror</i>, 1966. Oil on canvas. Courtesy ACA Galleries</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br />
<!--EndFragment-->unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-12981846564713781952014-01-09T06:34:00.002-08:002014-01-09T20:06:30.559-08:00light at the end<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguXp62HXMuui7B0iZK7ByUHTCrOTf89-ZcfIDqOF2W4L1s6_BNPWzYvLDDqGxNDLt0bMQxWOkt7kPYRAOS6v_KgZz-zzaJSyXEXT9rHXNjzQBQbzydjGDE93trz7xWwY-1Jn97MtbQDeY/s1600/red+blur.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguXp62HXMuui7B0iZK7ByUHTCrOTf89-ZcfIDqOF2W4L1s6_BNPWzYvLDDqGxNDLt0bMQxWOkt7kPYRAOS6v_KgZz-zzaJSyXEXT9rHXNjzQBQbzydjGDE93trz7xWwY-1Jn97MtbQDeY/s1600/red+blur.jpg" height="200" width="107" /></a> . . . . . . . . . . . . . <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZLPdzroxInyKR9RGQJu-wtAvVEOL0My5tgfDnX2pxHBkOFqUqVdcFdgk-TT63wN1C-2BcpOBe-DzzVI4Cvn20swX0iS1b0RP2I2m5ESDBz9yccV2iHQq7ccAiFx2Q15icXSsWkzl2oCo/s1600/red+clear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZLPdzroxInyKR9RGQJu-wtAvVEOL0My5tgfDnX2pxHBkOFqUqVdcFdgk-TT63wN1C-2BcpOBe-DzzVI4Cvn20swX0iS1b0RP2I2m5ESDBz9yccV2iHQq7ccAiFx2Q15icXSsWkzl2oCo/s1600/red+clear.jpg" height="200" width="110" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">Courage and confidence took a nosedive last week when I picked up my work
from the frame shop. Wasn’t there
supposed to be a huge pile of impressive, weighty paintings and drawings? Surely you must have left some in the back. These seem — well, this stack is rather small
and tidy-looking. How the hell will
these fill a whole half a gallery? Who
the hell do I think I am? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">I returned home, deflated, a shell of my formerly cheerful self of that
morning — consumed by a familiar hollowed-out feeling I should have recognized
right away as evidence that The Voice Was Here. What the hell was I thinking? This is crap!
Crap doesn’t need titles and prices.
And proMOTE it as well? PLEASE
DON’T COME PLEASE DON’T COME. Stay home. Don’t bother.
Nothing to see here. Jeezus. What was I thinking?!? This is insane. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">Tears tugged and tightened at my throat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">And yet . . . . somewhere, some little flame flickered and I didn’t disconnect
completely. Part of me knew that this
was to be expected. The finish line is
in sight. The work’s nearly
finished. Resistance and The Voice were
joining cruel forces in one last push to keep my goal and me apart. Damn those bastards!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">I needed reinforcement. So I wrote
a quick note to one person I know who gets it, who faces similar foes, who’s seen it
from the start. Andra is wise and kind, and has such a beautiful
and sincere way with words. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">Dear Una, kindly escort the Voice
to the door. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">You have this.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">Breathe.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">The resistance is just letting you
know you are really showing up ~ & that investment of hope & muscle
& imagination is absolutely magnetic.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">And in accordance with my new
mantra, “Have the courage to enjoy it.”</span><span style="color: #1049bc;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Wow. Wowee. What brilliance — In all my obsessing I’d not
even considered the enjoyment part. The
weight lifted a little. I kept moving, remembered
that critical success wasn’t a chief goal for this project anyway. This is an
inside job. We self-validate round here. I framed one piece at a time, looked at the
group, and was reassured.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">And then, miraculously, more angels arrived. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">The Frenchman reminded me what my original vision
was. Sweet Shannon and Nicki and Eric turned
up and oohed and aahed. Patty — hooray
for Patty! — swept in to give it one final look and to help and provide just the
right dose of encouragement and conversation.
I was going to make it. I could maybe
probably stop apologizing for it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">And then this morning, in the early blue light of a snowy Wedneday, just
as my sacred morning studio hours were cropped chest-clenchingly short by le
petit garçon’s cries, I looked up at a quiet little collage and wondered, Is
that a green-blue or a blue-blue? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0WeAGqdCB1L0OaDNXubKvggIdxnP5nJAbmbc_nXL8UePpW6OBLkiU90fLex02wNCUuyWnte4yMh_rZ-5tHbW5WJeYDYOfszITAKO7NLVNZw5hwzb531Ki_MPZ-xPCrFYceYVseU1iLo/s1600/blue+blur.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0WeAGqdCB1L0OaDNXubKvggIdxnP5nJAbmbc_nXL8UePpW6OBLkiU90fLex02wNCUuyWnte4yMh_rZ-5tHbW5WJeYDYOfszITAKO7NLVNZw5hwzb531Ki_MPZ-xPCrFYceYVseU1iLo/s1600/blue+blur.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a> . . . . . . . . . . . .<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6O1kzARQud4IdwwFEP2pO9tCtjtqfX1ky-TWlCpnWw2faoB9wer-XHkmJUsrT_e7ESvVMobXY0Gz29vR4ARH9yaQFlon9ob3V1KO7JhvlCczNrSb3SyzDDFbvyoNfmAguJ0Xh2Uj7dz8/s1600/blue+clear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6O1kzARQud4IdwwFEP2pO9tCtjtqfX1ky-TWlCpnWw2faoB9wer-XHkmJUsrT_e7ESvVMobXY0Gz29vR4ARH9yaQFlon9ob3V1KO7JhvlCczNrSb3SyzDDFbvyoNfmAguJ0Xh2Uj7dz8/s1600/blue+clear.jpg" height="200" width="153" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">And then I knew my own mantra, at least for now. To bring me back to the wondrous present; to
corral, just a little, the leap-frogging mind; to soothe the panic. Not the impossible “Who the hell do I think I
am?”, nor the discouraging “Where the hell should I be that I clearly am not?”. Instead, a simple, curious, “Is that a
green-blue or a blue-blue?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">It’s enough for now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-31349045805409345172013-12-27T07:12:00.003-08:002013-12-27T07:12:38.828-08:00not prepared, but ready
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<!--StartFragment--><span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">Since
this will be a two-person show — though really more like two solo
exhibitions in the same space — and we’d never met, with excitement and
apprehension I made a date with my fellow exhibitor this week. I was a little nervous, having built a rather romantic image of her after
seeing a few pieces, nearly convinced that the world would fall in
love with her work at first sight (and, natch, ignore mine).</span><!--EndFragment-->
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">I’ve been thinking a lot about flowing lately, that whole ‘going with the flow’
— a phrase I’ve often dismissed as trite, too laid-back and passive, too
faux-surfer. I’d noticed that, in
dreams especially, I am often trying to back-pedal, reverse,
pause the action to get my bearings. Survey
the hill, and then down; arrive at the crest of the next, stop to assess. I seem to not fully trust my capacity to make and
savor decisions <u>as I go</u>, flowing from one to the next. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I often remember a phrase Reb Anderson said to me once: <b>Not Prepared
— But Ready</b>. Not thinking ahead, not under some illusion of Control, but alert and accepting. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I thought about the notion of stepping into the stream and moving along with
it as I sat waiting for her to arrive. Faking it, till I’m convinced otherwise. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">I thought about inadequacy, and as usual The Voice took its cue from that slight
opening to rush in with YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS WHO ARE YOU TO THINK YOU CAN
DO THIS YOU’RE NOT THIN ENOUGH YOUR SKIN’s NOT CLEAR ENOUGH for you to have the
<i>gall </i>to exhibit your work BLAH BLAH
BLAH…. And then, brought to my senses, I
thought, well, maybe I just get in this stream and flow <u>with</u> it for a
change. Maybe this Here is the right
Here. Maybe there’s no
such thing as a fearless warrior anyway, so might as well hop into the driver’s
seat of this careening-out-of-control bus and take command, if not Control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">Maybe acceptance, rather than complacence or passivity, equals fluidity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;"></span><br /><span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">
Maybe I can stay upright in the midst of all this through <u>accepting</u>
what’s happening, accepting a new addition to my identity, accepting
reality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">As it turned out, she was very human, and quite nice really, and imperfect
in the way we all are, and we talked and shared a bit about our stories and I
tried to bring myself back when I’d get caught in a little eddy of self-doubts
and How Dare Yous, to climb back into the driver’s seat and return to the bloody
conversation for pete’s sake. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">That same day I brought my work to a framer for matting, and I felt so
exposed again, all that work and all that time, just sitting there on the
counter like a commodity. We discussed dimensions
and colors and edges without once talking about the image, like designers
behind the scenes at the catwalk, fussing over the surface of the model,
ignoring whatever life’s underneath. And
the owner came by, and I wanted his approval, which I knew was so screwed up,
and I also knew that I may well never get it and never know why, and then I
realized I need some serious therapy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">But let’s close. Let's return to important things, the stuff that matters. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: x-small;">Janice
Biala: <i>Untitled (Landscape)</i>, mixed
media collage, 1958. courtesy Tibor de
Nagy Gallery</span></span><!--EndFragment--> <br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Two artists came into my field recently when I by chance picked up </span><i style="color: #403152; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Suitcase Paintings: Small Scale Abstract
Expressionism</i><span style="color: #403152; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">. These diminutive
pieces, their texture and action, had such big impact. From the pages, out jumped Perle Fine, and
out leapt Janice Biala. Long overdue, I’m so glad to
meet them at last.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: x-small;">Janice Biala: <i>Japanese Maple II</i>,
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unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-75133355507105335282013-12-14T08:54:00.000-08:002013-12-14T08:54:05.689-08:00friendly faces in the chill of dawn<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #215868; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">And out of nowhere it happens: one little piece sings out, and — Aha! You! I’d forgotten about you. Hello again! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;">And I give myself a short assignment, maybe just to add a layer of this or
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<span style="color: #215868; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent5; mso-themeshade: 128;">What If. The question fuels me till I have to wake
L. It’s happened again. Just a small something — I’m amazed at how
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<span style="color: #215868; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 15px; text-align: -webkit-auto;">For the coming week: keep showing up, and let the muses work their magic. </span></div>
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walked alone in the chill of dawn
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">of
detachment say, like a drunken
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">like a
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<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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the owl flew well beyond me
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the bough did not sway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #403152; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 128;">—Jane Kenyon<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">A few days ago, I was rejected for something I’d applied and hoped for. Not only did I receive a resounding No, but
someone who I am </span><i style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">certain </i><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">is less
competent (and less fun) than I received a Yes, and I even by chance overheard
her expressing her delight at her success.
I thought I was a shoe-in, which was maybe my first mistake. As it also happens, we were at the time in a
roomful of people perhaps two handfuls of whom had issued me rejections at one
time or another. The inner drums began
to beat: are they snickering at me? Do they talk amongst themselves about what a loser they think I am? What if, come January, they laugh at, or hate, my paintings?</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">I’ve had two other humiliating rejections recently, and I see the perpetrators
with some frequency. One, whom I barely know,
I subsequently concluded was a mean, bitter person unqualified to do her job,
and I employed her as a repository of my frustration, fear, doubt, and
disappointment. So that was a little
obvious, a tiny indicator that I needed to take a closer look. I did some Work on this; it turned out it
wasn’t actually her fault. For a moment,
though, I thought she was responsible for my happiness. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">These recent rejections are, I’ve concluded, not so much negations as lampposts,
casting tiny shafts of light on the path I didn’t see, which is the path of my
own vision for myself. For several
decades I have turned to other people (and non-people) to validate me and my
worth, and this week’s rejection seems to be another sign — subtle, written in
some odd, blurred script I don’t recognize at first — saying, OK, get back to
work. That was a compelling opportunity,
sure, but would it really have stretched you in the right ways? Let’s get back to your vision. Let’s question your assumptions about what’s
feasible, about the limits of opportunity, and then let’s get back to
work. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Before I do, though — for relief and insight — I turn to a few angels and
advisors, because I am no expert on dealing with Rejection: Anne Lamott, Steven Pressfield’s <u>The War
of Art</u>, and Charlotte Joko Beck came first to mind. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Anne Lamott talks about jealousy, and though I’m not sure that Rejection
and Jealousy are the same in this instance, I know they often hold hands. She talks about how degrading jealousy and
competitiveness can be, particularly when it’s friends who are successful. In my case, though, it’s more humiliation — and
then of course <i>anticipated </i>rejections, because
I am preparing in this project to expose my effort, my inner thoughts and
vision. Perhaps the answer’s to care for
the vision, or the dream, as softly and tenderly as possible. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-size: x-small;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';">from </span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><a href="http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/wet-dog-sophie-gamand"><span style="text-decoration: none;">My Modern Met</span></a></span></i></span><span style="color: #4f6228; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-themecolor: accent3; mso-themeshade: 128;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">She does talk about “Radio Station KFKD”,
which I prefer to call The Voice, who jumps in at any opening to present a list
to me of all the mistakes I’ve made today and, while we’re at it, over my
entire lifetime, and reasons I shouldn’t even bother because I’ll never succeed
anyway.</span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">She suggests rituals, and
breathing, and again that gentleness.</span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Who am I in relation to this problem? I might ask, following Charlotte
Joko Beck. And what is the direct
experience of the scenery of my life at this moment? “We never grow by dreaming about a future
wonderful state or by remembering past feats.
We grow by being where we are and experiencing what our life is right
now.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Steven Pressfield suggests, “When we see others beginning to live their
authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">I’ve no idea what he’s talking about.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">He also says that Resistance’ll happily use fear of rejection to paralyze
us and prevent us, if not from doing our work, then from exposing it to public
evaluation. He reminds me that I can’t
let external criticism fortify my inner foe, Resistance, who’s strong enough as
it is. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Back to work. A breath. The physical sensation, in the present. And then back to work.
</span><span style="color: #984806;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">After a week of restless, low-grade misery, I finally came up for air long
enough to wonder whether this might be Resistance in action — that insidious
force that obstructs movement from a lower sphere to a higher. It's most powerful as the finish line nears. And I
wondered whether this blog could be Resistance relocated: composing the next post pulls me from the
project as compellingly as a phone call or the computer screen or gossip or
even laundry — so well-disguised though that I mistake it for my work. Is it, in part, Resistance rearing its head,
as I near my goal? Something shiny and new to distract from the challenge and fear of
realizing a dream?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">And then I read about Josef Albers’ teaching at Black Mountain College,
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">These images all fold into my project in their own way. So I to step aside, and offer them up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">For this next week: recognize
Resistance, soothe nerves, work away, study the gallery space. Enjoy the work itself. And in the midst of compelling demands, take a moment to marvel at these mysterious assemblages of color and texture and pattern and line.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Nicolas de Staël</span></span>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Nicolas de Staël</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Emily Gherard</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">Showing up — that’s been on my mind as I work this week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">I’m struggling to show up every day.
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Sometimes, like on Wednesday, I don’t want to go to my studio.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I dawdle, I ignore my four alarms, I
‘exercise’ or find some other self-improving thing to do.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I am avoiding the blankness, the gulf in
front of me. </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">What if I don’t know what
to do?</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">What if there’s nothing there and
I sit staring for an hour?</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">In recent years especially I go on in anyway, and light my incense, and say
my prayer to invoke my committee of allies and angels — the muses — and ask
them to please take note of my effort. I
tell The Voice to leave, please, and go pick on someone her own size. And then I look around. And usually, almost always, something catches
my interest and I ride that wave for the next hour or so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">These little pieces are like that. I
didn’t know What To Do one day, so I cut up swatches of leftover paint. And I got curious, and I started to ask What
If. When I visited the ocean while on my
retreat they resonated. They echo that
place, a little bit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">I love not knowing how they happened, or why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">On Tuesday night, as I lay ruminating about a conversation I’d had that
day, I rolled over and caught sight of a poem by e. e. cummings I’d pinned to
the wall some time ago and nearly forgotten.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">
</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">It starts:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">
<br />
</span><span style="color: #365f91; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 191;"> may my heart
always be open to little<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #365f91; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> birds who are the secrets of living</span></div>
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<span style="color: #365f91; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent1; mso-themeshade: 191;"> whatever they sing is better than to know . . . . <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Goal for the coming fortnight: show up each day.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Today, for example, the Frenchman took le petit garçon out to give me time to work; the house is quiet.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Two hours, maybe three, all to myself!</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I’m tempted to stare out at the rain, to find
out what other people are doing, to eat popcorn, to vacuum.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Sure signs that resistance is lurking
nearby.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">But the muses are waiting, and I
know they're starting to look at their watches.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I’ve
learned this lesson before:</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">there may be
a surprise waiting.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">I gotta go.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-10690467334298222292013-11-08T12:46:00.001-08:002013-11-08T12:55:11.646-08:00work in progress: on sharing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #853609; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tw Cen MT";">Vulnerability seems to be the
word of the week round here.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #853609; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tw Cen MT";">Perhaps it’s partly a result of
my visit with Patty for a critique of works in progress. She came over
last Saturday and helped enormously — isolated specific aspects of each piece
that weren’t working or needed attention, gave me ideas on cropping, helped me
think about presentation. She encouraged me and never once indulged my
suggestion that maybe I should just throw in the towel and hide in a closet
till spring. </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #853609; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tw Cen MT";">Patty (find her at <a href="http://patriciakimball.com/"><span style="color: #0000e9;">patriciakimball.com</span></a>)
and I share an undergraduate alma mater and a love of the human figure and —
dare I be so bold — an overall artistic aesthetic. I admire her paintings
and love to see them change, and I appreciate her unpretentiousness and
curiosity. </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #853609; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tw Cen MT";">I want to construct a cocoon
round this project till it’s fully ready to be shared with the world; I feel
vulnerable when someone sees work in progress. What if all the good
things she thought of me dissolve in a heap? <i>I know they’re imperfect!
</i>I want to say. Like many women, I have the impulse to apologize up
front, to supply context, and self-deprecatory comments, and
explanations. I make attempts to control what people see of me — not the</span><span style="color: #783f04;"><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">
‘whole catastrophe’, as a friend said recently, only those more ‘presentable’
sides. </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #783f04;">The Frenchman in my life has told me I dramatically shield my
work when he knocks on my studio door, that I seem to hunch over it when I see
him coming, guarding it as if from a desert sandstorm — but in truth I am
protecting myself and protecting these pieces f</span></span><span style="color: #853609; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Tw Cen MT";">rom the confusion of like and
dislike. Criticisms, ideas, input — especially when work is in
progress — some of us take this stuff to heart.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">I of course discount immediately anyone who likes me and/or my work. Their credibility is questionable. You like these? Clearly you have no idea what you’re talking
about. You like <i>me</i>? Clearly you are a naïve
nutcase. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">Wanting to be
understood is such a basic impulse. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">Caring What People
Think is such a rich and dark forest to investigate and explore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">It reminds me of something
that lover of truth Byron Katie said:
“If I had a prayer it would be this:
God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtm5GpopifrxjCi2M8LmCI6hMy5mt3QfSt1Y9tfcv4t90oQSCa1B7_IFpVjWqZZoD3wO5dVb6SDqccpWqXwGPpPAdEnPEWGqcC6Udnwpzoj9-FcUMM0vktGvx6IVclgMX7qNUs_9xZOJE/s1600/nature_tlc_sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtm5GpopifrxjCi2M8LmCI6hMy5mt3QfSt1Y9tfcv4t90oQSCa1B7_IFpVjWqZZoD3wO5dVb6SDqccpWqXwGPpPAdEnPEWGqcC6Udnwpzoj9-FcUMM0vktGvx6IVclgMX7qNUs_9xZOJE/s320/nature_tlc_sm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">Mary Oliver has this
to say:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT';"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #45818e;">… And after the leaves
came</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #45818e;"> blossoms. For some things<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #45818e;"> there are no wrong
seasons.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #45818e;"> Which is what I dream
of for me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #45818e;"> </span></span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: "Tw Cen MT"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Futura; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;">For these next seven days: steady-as-she goes, meeting the muses in the early morning hours, plugging
away at small bite-sized tasks, taking what each day gives, opening to the inexhaustible
levels of revelation that may unfold.
And maybe finishing a piece. Back
in a week.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076771148113174102.post-18577699784887371172013-10-29T21:29:00.003-07:002013-10-29T21:29:47.308-07:00home again
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVteUAdI47HFRGxdLw1r1EwxVAr4WZPGfHNYZUZVQBPKMYTZLCZjjopAjNFFOHj3WAnt30ggb4CbtrWEXjsdb6tBr5G58kAzHHLSLMWVZLfkXUiKRyXVDSwKhBK-f4_ovX-0-faLP8Ffg/s1600/on+the+deck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVteUAdI47HFRGxdLw1r1EwxVAr4WZPGfHNYZUZVQBPKMYTZLCZjjopAjNFFOHj3WAnt30ggb4CbtrWEXjsdb6tBr5G58kAzHHLSLMWVZLfkXUiKRyXVDSwKhBK-f4_ovX-0-faLP8Ffg/s200/on+the+deck.jpg" width="157" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Tw Cen MT; font-size: xx-small;"> <span style="color: #274e13;">my favorite deck... sigh.</span></span></td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;">When friends ask how
my week on the Vineyard was, I find the phrase ‘the bliss of hard work’ comes
first to mind — to paraphrase Josef Albers, a primary source of inspiration</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;"> — </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;">along with the trees, the geese, the fast-moving clouds, the ocean.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;">Somehow we’re taught, at least I was, that if
left to our own devices we are inclined toward laziness, and would if we were
allowed lie around for days on end eating bonbons and watching TV.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;">A mistrust of our true natures.</span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;">I was relieved and reassured to learn that in
fact I love to work hard, to focus on that work which I care most deeply about.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwzpaKfyP59onjK3SsWu3VLyE5N1A-qpclQxB0xVtDt4HsPt57dRejtENJP8z_3eulfjU7GAiFBdS5bkG1lLWadjcpcEQibrGEDXPVkWe-QgA6slM15iRJOB4tCZ1N6-R9ZHnXS82MCfA/s1600/albers_josef_study+for+variant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwzpaKfyP59onjK3SsWu3VLyE5N1A-qpclQxB0xVtDt4HsPt57dRejtENJP8z_3eulfjU7GAiFBdS5bkG1lLWadjcpcEQibrGEDXPVkWe-QgA6slM15iRJOB4tCZ1N6-R9ZHnXS82MCfA/s320/albers_josef_study+for+variant.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #274e13;">Josef Albers</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #274e13;">
, <i>Study for a Variant / Adobe (I)
</i>ca. 1947
. <br />Oil on blotting paper with pencil.
© 2010 The Josef and Anni Albers Foundation.</span></span></span><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt; text-align: justify;"><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">My task for the
week was to develop a group of paintings and drawings I will be showing at the
Salt Lake City Public Library in January 2014: small semi-abstract landscapes inspired
by the library building itself. The
exhibition marks a milestone in my artistic development, and challenges me to
press ahead despite fears, insecurities, and (really really loud) voices of doubt and inadequacy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
</span><span style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">Through this
blog I’d like to connect, on a weekly basis, particularly with the TLC community, and share experiences with other grantees as I work to achieve my own goal. A side effect,
I hope, is to discover whether I like to blog. And maybe find a little humor and lightness in
the sharing. </span></div>
</span></span><span style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;">This first week
back is for assessment. My friend and fellow artist Patty has agreed to visit for
a critique, to give me honest feedback on where my work stands and concrete
suggestions on how to improve them. It’s
hard to know sometimes whether I’m even on the right path . . . and as Anne Lamott
says: theoretically I could do it alone, but it’s sure easier to have people
helping.</span></div>
</span></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2-KHrq6S3pcNqm-t66HoKttyXOTBLna-Ivr1m_pApmwgx9u9fuiYpCJI64YAC8OLAX-n_cBTv2B2u9P93R0HOA_ZvjgxFNaPi-lgSeG2jfK_Z_5iGZISxIhaz3BKqYDnu4eRdWxhD03M/s1600/chairs+waiting_una+pett.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2-KHrq6S3pcNqm-t66HoKttyXOTBLna-Ivr1m_pApmwgx9u9fuiYpCJI64YAC8OLAX-n_cBTv2B2u9P93R0HOA_ZvjgxFNaPi-lgSeG2jfK_Z_5iGZISxIhaz3BKqYDnu4eRdWxhD03M/s320/chairs+waiting_una+pett.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #274e13; font-size: xx-small;">work, in progress</span><span style="color: #984806; font-size: 15px;"> </span></span></td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">Till next week, I remain deeply grateful for such a rare and intensive retreat
experience. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #984806; font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;">. . . and offer this, from Albers:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">Easy — to know<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">that
diamonds — are precious<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">good — to learn<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">that
rubies — have depth<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">but more — to see<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: 'Tw Cen MT'; font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">that pebbles — are
miraculous.</span><span style="color: #984806;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #984806; font-family: Futura; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-themecolor: accent6; mso-themeshade: 128;"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->unahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14312832880265315720noreply@blogger.com1